Thursday, July 21, 2011

I hate to say this, but...

About 6 months ago I started thinking that I couldn't see as well as I used to. But, since I am so darn young, hardly more than a baby really, I decided that I must be imagining things. I have a great imagination.

Then, a few weeks ago I started having trouble threading needles. At first it was just those little size 8 betweens, you know the ones made by John James. I love those needles! But then it quickly progressed to the big ol' fat 90/14 Schmetz. Which I also love! Probably just a bad spool of thread. No need to get riled. It was time to order more thread anyhoo.

Then, last week I was sewing with my friend Theresa, who is a beginner. I was winding bobbins and threading the machine for her when she needed it. And would you believe it took me forever to thread it for her! I felt a little embarrassed. But I was pretty darn sure it was just the lighting over by that particular machine.

THEN, my lovely little first born daughter came by a few days ago to help me get ready for a teaching gig. I was stitching away, minding my own business, threading needles and all. But apparently I was not threading them very fast because would you believe that she said to me, "What's the matter mom, are you getting too old to thread a needle".

That's right. "Too old to thread a needle", that is what she said. I should have drowned this child at birth! Or let the wild beasts eat her. Or eaten her myself!! "Too old to thread a needle", she says.

Flash forward to this week, and me and my guy go to the fair to see Tanya Tucker sing her little heart out, Delta Dawn and all. And after the concert my guy wants to walk though the commercial buildings. So we are cruising through the salsa makers, chamois and cookware with a lifetime warranty when we come upon a giant wall of reading glasses. So, I say to my guy:

"Hey, I am gonna try on a pair of those glasses."
"Why, you don't wear glasses."
"I know, I just wanna confirm the fact that I don't need glasses."
"Oh brother."

Guess what happened:

That's right. Mama has a new pair of readers.
But, they're cute right?

So then....(this is like the never ending story)
I say to my guy:
"Sometimes when I rub my eyes, it takes a long time (like 10 seconds) for them to come back into focus."
"That happens to me all the time. Don't worry about it. It's normal."
"Really, you're like the expert on eyeballs or something."
"Trust me. It's normal."
A little time passes, and then he says to me (You're gonna love this)
"Wait 'til you rub your eye and it gets stuck over on the side. Don't freak out when that happens to you. It's also normal."
"Yeah, you rub your eye, and it gets stuck over on the side, and you can't move it back. It's kinda weird. I'm just telling you so you won't freak out when it happens. IT IS NORMAL."
"That is not normal!"
"Yes it is. I asked Bill and he said it is normal. It happens to him all the time."

Seriously, does this look normal to you:

I didn't think so....
But if you happen to run into my guy and Bill in town and they both have jacked-up eyeballs, don't mention it. They think it's normal.

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