Friday, December 10, 2010

Skunks are Bad

Last night, shortly after we went to bed, I heard noises. So, I got up to look out the bedroom window. I did not see anything moving around, but I did see that there was light coming out of the living room window. Now, I was the last person to go to bed and I had turned those lights off on my way!!
"Honey, wake up! I think someone's in the house."
"I think someone's in the house. The light is on in the living room."
"Wait here."
I did not wait. I followed him down the hall. A good 10 paces behind.
Nothing. We checked every room and closet.
"Honey, I turned this light off myself and I heard noises. That's why I got up."
"I'll check the garage."
This time I waited.
"No one is here."
"Honey, I am telling you I heard noises and I know I turned this light off!"
"So someone broke in and turned on the light?" Now, my guy said this in complete earnest. And he had this look on his face that he gets when he is serious and trying to work something out. And it is always hilarious. ALWAYS.
So, I laughed. Because he is so funny. But I did not want to laugh, because I was a little freaked out.
And with that he said, "I am going to bed."
"Oh great. There is no way I am going to sleep anytime soon. And you are just gonna go to bed?"
"Good night."
That was at 10:00.
I sewed until 1:30.
Tried to go to sleep until 2:30.
Got back up and pulled out fabric for a project that has been on my mind. And then played spider solitaire until 4:22. At which time I was finally tired enough to go to sleep.

Don't worry, I am getting to the skunk.

Three and a half, very short, hours later I woke up to the smell of a skunk. But, I thought I must be hallucinating. Lack of sleep and all.

I had gone directly outside to get a couple of things done, and had promptly forgot about the skunk, because it did not stink outside. About a half an hour later I walked back into the house and was greeted by that awful smell. And it got worse as I made my way down the hall.

And that is when I realized that there must be a skunk in the garage. That's what was making all those noises last night. And it was probably still in there. Just waiting.

I called my guy. No answer.

So, I moved on to Plan B. I called Grandpa George.

"George, there is something wrong and I need your help."
"I think there's a skunk locked in the garage!"
"Well. I see." (Now let me just point out that this comment was filled with the unmistakable sound of gleeful mischief! As a matter of fact, if you were to look up the word "mischief" in the dictionary, you would find a full page, color photo of Grandpa George. No words. Just the picture).
"I'm serious George. What are we going to do about this?"
"By 'we', do you mean you and your husband?"
"No, George I mean you and me! And mostly I mean you. I am doing my part by calling for help."
"I see. Now what you need to do is go down and open the garage door."
"No way, George!! Not me! It is probably curled up on the other side of the door just waiting for me...And, it's probably rabid."
"Oh yeah. It could be." More gleeful mischief here. "Just use the clicker to open the door."
"I don't have one."
"You don't have one?"
"Nope. Do you have one?"
"No. I have asked for one many times, but no one has bothered to get me one...yet."
"Do you think that your garage door clicker would work on our door?"
"I don't have a garage."
"Oh yeah."
"So it looks like you are going to have to go down there and open the door."
"Gee, thanks for the help George."
"I'll stay on the line while you open the door." (I am pretty sure he just wanted to know what it sounded like when someone got attacked by a skunk).

So, I crept down the stairs and cracked the door. No scurrying. No smell.
So I opened the door wide enough to get my hand through to flip on the light. No sounds. No smells.
So, I opened the door all the way. Nothing.
So, I dashed down the stairs and pushed the button to open the big door...And nearly killed myself trying to get back up the stairs before anything came to get me.

So, now I think that the skunk must be under the house. And I am waiting until my guy gets home to take care of it!!

In the meantime, I have every door and window open and all of the ceiling fans on high. Thank goodness it is supposed to be in the mid to upper 60's today.

And, if you were thinking of stopping by to visit me today....I wouldn't.


  1. Haha! Sounds just like the Grandpa George I know! Can't wait to hear the end of the story!

  2. oh my :-0 I agree. Skunks are bad. I was thinking about just that, driving to work this morning smelling them while I tried to enjoy my delicious tea. sure hope your house smells better by Monday :-)

  3. Very funny...And so YOU!

  4. How awful that has to be. We have them in the neighborhood and smell them at times but never in or under our house. I sure hope you get rid of it and the smell.